how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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