i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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