Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
