She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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