I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
