my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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