she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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