happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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