Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
