sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
