Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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