i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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