What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
they're like a gay fantastic four
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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