I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
