...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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