if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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