You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
