Porn is love you can see.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
