I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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