Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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