I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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