I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize