Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
