Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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