Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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