i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
