people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
