I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
