BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
