I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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