It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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