bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
