You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
