It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
