We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
