Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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