is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
