Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
