At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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