I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
