Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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