Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
