I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
