The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
