I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
