there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
