Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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