I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
