I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
