today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
