I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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