Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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