I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
