maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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