Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize