so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
