Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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