How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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